Dating Personality Clashes

I’m Having Trouble Trusting Boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year 8 months now. I’m still having trouble trusting him. He’s gave me a million reasons for me to trust him. Even his friends told me he is the most faithful person they know. In my past relationships I’ve been cheated on many of times. When he goes out, I always ask him questions like “were there girls there? did they touch you? did u flirt with them?” It’s tearing us apart. We both want to be together for the rest of our lives. We recently had a conversation about this whole trust issue and we almost broke up over it. He told me that if we have to have this conversation again its over. Please help, our relationship is a stake because of me. I want to be able to trust him, I just have a mental block in my head. I suppose I’m doing this to protect myself from getting hurt again. That’s probably why I ask all those questions.

Thank you,
Kalena Lawson

Anonymous says:
January 26, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I been dated my boyfriend almost a year now. I trust him but everytime he goes somewhere with friends. He lies about where he going to be at. Couple of days later, he then tell me where he went. Some days he become despessed and don’t want to talk at all. How could I have a health relationship with my boyfriend while trusting him at the same time? How can I handle the sign of him being depressed at times.
Anonymous says:
April 30, 2009 at 6:25 am
In order to trust again, you have to forgive. And often time’s this can be very hard. Forgiving past wrongs, where you were the victim, can be the hardest, to achieve. it’s one thing to say to a person they are forgiven, yet it is another thing to really feel they are forgiven deep in your soul, it can take a lot of time, but I promise you it is the best reward if achieved. It’s going to take a whole lot of reading self-help books on forgiveness and prayer, and possibly many tears.. but once you have surrendered all, you will see the light at the end of the dark tunnel you have been traveling along.

And so will others, as they will see a more healthy, alive you, who fears nothing, and enjoys a person, simply because they are who they are, your love will no longer be needy or conditional but unconditional.

If you do not know, you know now, that you have a God who loves you unconditionally, and He never looks at past wrongs, if you have submitted them before him.

Trust in Him, He knows the beginning and the end.

Magic of Making Up says:
November 27, 2009 at 11:40 am
I feel like you really have belief in your boy friend,since trust is important in every relationship as Relationships are an integral part of our lives and the relationship between lovers, wife and husband.

wishuponastar says:
May 6, 2010 at 8:52 pm
It’s funny you write this because I’m in the exact situation except I kept on pushing and pushing until my boyfriend was tired of it. We are still together, but things are not the same was they were 2 years ago. My problem is jealously, also. I was constantly asking the same questions you mentioned. My advice to you is to force yourself to stop asking the questions and force those thoughts of him cheating on you out of your head. It’s hard. Trust me. But, keep trying. Don’t let your relationship be ruined by those thoughts and worries. You’ll find your boyfriend will be way more committed, caring, and interested in you if you act like other girls don’t bother you. After all, if he wanted to be with someone else, he would be. But, he chose you. Don’t make him regret it.
I need to listen to my own advice.
Hope all goes well for you:)

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One Comment

  1. Your boyfriend gets very good references, in that, friends say he’s trustworthy. Just as you are different from some other girls who might cheat on others, you too are a trustworthy person. People are different. Your ex-boyfriends cannot represent all boys. You should be able to judge by yourself whether to trust your boyfriend. Trust is something very vital in a relationship since you can only win one’s heart but not one’s body. I hope you can help yourself because others cannot help you. If you cannot trust your boyfriend, you will finally lose him, because he won’t be willing to be distrusted all the time. Ask yourself what if you were him. Good luck.

    Jealousy in small doses is cute and essential on a relationship. It is a sign that your partner is in love with you. It sparks passion and romance, and can enhance a couple’s devotion to each other.

    However, when it’s too much and out of control it will eventually destroy the relationship between you and your partner, because it eats away at the one thing that holds you together: Trust. Overdose jealousy leads to endless fights that totally expose your negative qualities.

    Are you paranoid? Take the quiz to find out the answer!

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