Hi, I need TRUTHFUL relationship advice.
My girlfriend and I met 18 months ago and since then we have been living together for about a year. She has been married six times and has gotten a divorce every time. I have never been married or been in a truly serious relationship until now. We told each other all the things that two people say when they are passionately being in love. We discussed everything in our lives with each other and made plans and decisions for a permanent relationship. I even gave up my job so we could work around hers, since her job was more established and secure. There are many other things that were discussed that I could include in this message but it would be too long.
Now, she wants to give up on this relationship without telling me all the TRUTHFUL reasons why. I expressed to her from the very beginning that her relationship track record was bad and that I was not looking for a serious relationship at the time that I met her, but the fact that we both agreed this relationship was for real and we could make commitment to it, we decided to RISK it.
My values are the most important thing to me and TRUST is at the very top of the list, which I expressed to her. How can someone be so cruel to fake a relationship, commitment, and LOVE? She tells me that she will LOVE me forever, no matter what happens, but why should I believe her. She has already broken my TRUST. It’s not the fact she has broken this trust that frustrates, it’s the fact that I don’t TRUST what she tells me anymore. Am I fighting a losing battle? I hate to walk away from something that I put so much effort and sacrifice into. She has some serious issues that she needs to work on, and we have discussed them, but for whatever reason, she wants to end the relationship.
By the way, she has wanted to end the relationship many times before only to change her mind. Not because she wanted to work on herself or the relationship, but because of the reasons that I still don’t know. She has also left once only to call me and wanted to get back together. All of these actions are things that I’m analyzing and trying to come to a decision. There is much more that I could include but I’m hoping someone can give me some relationship advice on what I’ve written. Thanks for all of your help.
November 27, 2009 at 11:58 am
She sounds like a woman that doesn’t really understand what she wants. That is pretty common.
The conflict is that her emotional side is looking for one type of partner, perhaps a forceful and demanding ‘bad boy’, that will take control of her life, while the rational side is looking for a sweet guy that she can manipulate.
If you really want to keep her, you need to learn to be both. Just role play a little. On weekends, put on your boots and leathers and act like the man in charge. During the week, be sweet and romantic.
You seem to be very worried about her feelings, you need to drop that on the weekends and be more interesting.
She is bored with you. I’m bored with you after 2 paragraphs. 🙂