Dating Personality Clashes

She Loves my Personality but not How I Looked

Ok here is the deal. I love my girlfriend a lot. We’ve been together a year. She told me today, that when she first saw a picture of me (we met thru a friend) she thought I wasn’t that great looking, that I had a great body but not face. Then after she met me in person, she told me she thought I was “a lil better”. Basically she made it clear she wasn’t attracted to me, even saying a quote “In the beginning I wasn’t sure if I was gonna keep talking to you or not” and I said becuz of how I looked, and she said yes. Now she tells me she loves me and all this and only wants me. But I mean I’m a guy; I wanna feel attracted to her. It’s like she only wants to be with me cuz she loves me and loves my personality. I don’t wanna leave her, but I don’t feel the same. What should I do??

– Buffguy


Azariah says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:50 pm
did u ever consider even if she wasnt attracted to u hasnt she been with u for almost a year that means she is mentally and emotionally attracted to u

Paul says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:50 pm
i barely agree with what anyones wrote above as “advice”
she crossed the boundary of honesty and went straight into cruelty with her comments.
it made you feel inadequate and thats not what its all about really is it.

i would feel like a make do from what she said.
wanted to give it to you straight there.

Ashley says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:51 pm
it doesn’t matter what she thought when she first met you. love can make the ugliest people be so beautiful.

Chula says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:51 pm
hey mayb its not such a bad thing dat she loves 4 ur
personality becuz looks arent everythin i mean u could
be da finest guy in da world n treat her lik shit n then da
uglyest guy could treat her lik a princess believe me i went thru
da experience she loves u 4 wats on da inside n dats a gud

AdrianaTorres says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:51 pm
hey buffguy what u should do is
tell her how u really feel about her
dont hurt her feelings by saying the same thing she told a year ago?

Kandi says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:51 pm
ok if yall have been talking for a long time don’t waste yalls love over something stupid but if not tell her how u feel and maybe yall could start over as friends and become but first get to know each other before u doin something u regret but take it slow and see what things yall have in and spend time together, go places together but just keep it real with her don’t hold back because soon u will have alot of things built up inside u but the best thing to do is to tell her how u feel

Amber says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:52 pm
if she doesn’t like you for who you are then why be with her? move on and find someone who likes u for u!!!!!!!

Shawty4realz says:
November 27, 2009 at 12:52 pm
ay playa. i don’t no if u took those other peoples advice or sum shit like dat but i think that if ya luv da gurl den don’t let wut she thinks about ur looks get in da way of dat. if she can’t xcept da way God made ya then she ain’t worth it. if she leaves u dat’s her problem. iv neva seen u befo but since God made u day ain’t nuttin wrong witcha look. da only flaw u got is lettin wut she thinks get to ya. man. u betta den dat an u no it. she ain’t da only mama in da world so if she leaves find yoself another lil mama. hope dis helps at least a lil. godspeed!

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  1. I think we need to view it from 2 angles. One is from his girlfriend. Obviously we mostly agree that she loves him. The reason why she told him the truth was actually to tell him she truly loves him and she obviously doesn’t know what he is thinking now after she told him so and if he would leave her for this reason she wouldn’t even understand. It happened to me and to others also in the past that a boyfriend suddenly left the girlfriend for no reason and in this case this type of man might or might not tell the girl of the true reason but I think mostly is the same thing: the girl said something and this something was critical to the man while the girl didn’t think so or even thought the opposite and therefore didn’t know the hurt at all. As an onlook it looks like a pity, however, this is just personality issue. Some men look rude but they also can be broadminded never truly remember hurtful things even after huge storms with their girlfriend; some men are gentlemen but they can’t forget tiny “hurts” what if the girl didn’t tell him the truth? We all know that the girl loves the boy. We all know that it’s true love to love someone who is not attractive by birth. The problem is that the girl should not share everything with this type of man. As for the advice for the boy, I think it’s his decision. I know that even if you love someone so much you still can make astonishing decision; in this case, for you, your personality, your self-esteem and yourself is much more important than love itself. If the ending is good, I wish you good luck; if you finally decide to leave the girl for this reason, I hope that the girl will learn not to date your type of man anymore because it seems that she is expressive and genuine and I won’t suggest her to change herself.

  2. …..dude really y do u care if she doesnt like the way your face looks? i mean really….go buy some makeup if u are that desperate for her to like your face….if u consider breaking up with her for something like that..u obviously dont love her very much do u?

  3. hey look if da girl loves you not ur body i guess u can say it’s better. i mean u excuse da expression but ur such a retard 4 real if she were to like ur physical only as soon as she would find a hotter guy she would leave you, but then again it’s up to you if u feel uncomfortable well then do what your head not ur heart (cuz hearts r tricky most of da time)

  4. if she didnt want to be with
    you, then she wouldnt be ur girlfriend.
    but shes with you so
    you should be grateful.
    if shes going out with you then that means shes attracted to you.
    maybe not alot physically but she must a little bit. in other words.
    LYKS YOU!!!

  5. You should be very happy that she wants you and not just because of your looks…i know you want to be attracted but maybe you can fix yourself a little bit more you know….but like..if you don’t want to leave her…you should talk to her and settle things straight..but you love her and she loves u and you don’t want to leave her…but you should not really worry about that…it’s only her opinion…how are you so sure that there isn’t another girl thinking that ur attractive or not??…you shouldn’t always keep ONE person’s opinion in your head…other ppl live in this world with their own opinions too you know…so..i hope you have a good relationship with your girlfriend!!

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