Confused Relationship

I Love my Boyfriend while Liking Someone Else

I’m in a year long relationship with a guy who loves me so much and of course I love him back. 3 months ago we had a 2 month break because I thought I only liked him as a friend. Just before we broke it off I met another guy who was very sweet, shy and caring. Not being up myself, but he seemed to really like me. I’m still not sure if i broke up with my boyfriend because i saw this new guy as something different and, well, “new”. Anyway, I became interested during the time I had broken up with my boyfriend.

I don’t fall for guys very easily and normally not that quick. I know he wasn’t a rebound guy either, he was more than that. In the 2 months i was apart from my boyfriend the new guy and i became kind of a couple but without him actually asking me out. We didn’t have a sexual relationship but we kissed when no one was looking.

One day, he had suddenly made best friends with alot of my girl friends and became more interested in them than me. I was hurt and wanted him to know, so i kind of stopped talking to him as much. The sad thing is, he didn’t seem to notice and we drifted apart.

After a month, my ex-boyfriend seemed to grow up alot and asked if we could try again. I said yes. A few months after we started going out again, the “new” guy seemed to start talking to me. Of course, i was standoffish after he screwed me over for my friends. And as I hadn’t picked him for the dickhead type I was pretty hurt.

When he contacted me he didn’t seem to want a real friendship. See, id slowly discovered that no one he has ever met has ever disliked him, surely not despised him like i did. And so, I think he was trying to calm the waters a little. Eventually I warmed up to him again… I thought I had gotten over him with my hatred but no.. I still felt for him despite the fact I was back to my boyfriend.

Anyway, recently I decided to see him, try a friendship again, partly because I still like him. Turned out the time he spent ignoring me and vice versa, he had changed. ALOT. He’d become a party animal, new friends, implied I was simple and boring because I like picnics and early nights.

It’s interesting to note that he often msged me drunk telling me he missed me. Only when he was drunk. All other times he never replied to my messages. So anyway, when i DID see him it was kind of disappointing. I couldn’t see the sweet, nice, caring guy I had seen all that time ago. When we really started talking he asked if i was still with my boyfriend, i said yes. Then we kind of talked about what had happened to us. I told him i had really liked him. He said he “didn’t know what to say”…he seemed generally speechless. After we talked, i messaged him asking if everything was different would i be good enough for him and his new life? He said the simple answer was yes but the problem wasn’t simple. he said he needed time to think. later on in the night he sent me a message “you do understand why i didnt kiss you tonight dont you?”. I replied. I fell asleep waiting for a message back. I messaged him in the morning and no reply. I messaged him again a week later, just asking how he was. He replied like nothing had really happened. I had told him the nigh I had seen him that I would never get over him. He hasn’t mentioned anything we talked about that night since. I told him I was sick of trying with him and it wasn’t worth it anymore. He never replied.

I’m sorry this is an essay and a half…i hope you will take the time to read it. i need help. I don’t know if I should cut him out…try and forget him. Tell my boyfriend about him. I feel so bad liking someone else while i am with him. I love my boyfriend though…and i guess i only REALLY LIKE this other guy. But he just seems so awesome despite the fact he has changed. Maybe it’s just my memory of he was that I want back.

– Rabbit

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  1. who do u think you are?? playing two guys along while you pretend to be little miss sweet, how would you feel if you were in love with your boyfriend but he was preoccupied with another "awesome" girl who was actually just treating him like a dick ( just like your fancy piece is doing to you), would you feel good if he was doing that to you?? let your boyfriend go! he may be hurt but at least he could maybe find a decent girl instead of a silly little girl who wants her cake and to eat it!
    Bet your so immature you wont allow the truth to be posted!

  2. sounds like you’re not fully in love with your boyfriend although you definetly care about him. you’re being a little unfair by being with him if you can care this much about another guy, especially for a guy who doesn’t treat you as well as you deserve. the “other” guy that you talk about sounds like your stereotypical smoozer and im sure hes a lot of fun and makes you feel good when you’re around him, but you either have to pass him up for now and work on things with your boyfriend, or break up with the boy and see if this other guy wants to take you seriously. if not, you may realize that neither are the ones for you, or maybe you’ll find yourself really happy with this other guy — but be honest with the boyfriend, its only fair sweetie

  3. hey i think u should 4get him after all he treat u badly.u should tell ur bf bout it.of course it’ll make him feel uneasy or mad or sumthin but at least git it of ur bac.and mayb he’ll help u.and u did say he luv u.

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