I have a situation here that I met with my broken love after 20 years and now understand we are still deeply being in love. Due to circumstance we had to part and now realise both are married and with kids. But our first love still persists and is very deep inside missing each other over years. We are now communicating over phone confidentially with all happiness now. How to get over the guilt and what can we call this relationship? It is not extra-marital, nor friendship.. pls advise?
Min Min says:
October 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm
So far nothing inappropriate yet, so my advice is only for the future.
As for the guilt, it’s how you feel; if you feel guilty, even if I rationalize that you are not, you still feel guilty, and the guilt will affect you. Vice versa.
Why do you need to define your relationship? Perhaps there’s no definition you can find to fit it; perhaps you just create one.
What you need to do is to find the best way to avoid harm.
If you two decided to keep both of your families intact, then please, don’t go further. If you are happy now, then keep the way as is, but don’t go further. If you are already happy, please don’t go further to be happier.
The toughest part of feeling is that it’s uncontrollable when it exceeds limits. Please don’t go further when it’s still under control.
Love is a feeling that human creates. It brings happiness when it doesn’t interfere with normal life. It’s just one of the finest art and enjoyment. Just like any other interest, please don’t overdo it. Once it’s overplayed, it will hurt you. Please limit the frequency of your contact. It should be the last task you think about if it will be the first entertainment you go for. Regard each other as a sincere friend.
If you go further till the feeling outweighs the mind, my advice will be redundant.
November 28, 2011 at 12:00 am
I am in the same situation almost identical as the prior question on the floor. My first love is in the south and I’m up north we just starting texting ang talking to each other over 20yrs we both married with kids and I just found out we too have been thinking of each other over the years still madly in love. What to do now?