Dating with Kids

May I Discipline my Boyfriend’s Son?

I am currently dating a man who has a 13 year old son from a previous relationship. He is a good dad for the most part, and the 3 of us get along great! However, when it comes to disciplining his son, it just doesn’t happen. His son is used to being spoiled, and getting away with everything. It’s more like his son is the parent, and my boyfriend is the child. Know what I mean? Recently his son was caught stealing and my boyfriend put his son on restriction. However, he still allowed him to go to his moms house where he knew that she would let him do whatever he wanted. The only reason he went to his moms is so he could play with his friends anyway.


My boyfriend tells me that he can’t keep him from seeing his mom, however the only time his mom is in his life is when she wants something from my boyfriend. Like money or whatever. Anyway, my point is, that my boyfriend absolutely will not step up and discipline his son the way I think he should. Like restriction without the benefit of being able to go outside and play, or playing video games, etc. But because I’m not the biological parent, my boyfriend thinks that I shouldn’t have a say in disciplining his son. My boyfriend and I currently live together, have made plans to get married, and having children of our own. We are very serious in our relationship. So, do I have a right or a say in disciplining his 13 year old son?

– Miz

Min Min says:
March 24, 2009 at 11:21 am
I’m sorry, but the answer is no. When you marry your boyfriend, you must accept his son as he is. Please think twice; that’s my advice. Love is love; marriage is marriage.

Anonymous says:
May 1, 2009 at 11:46 am
i dissagree. if you are important to your boyfriend, he should listen to your suggestions, about how to dicipline his son or otherwise. Whether or not he agrees and acts on your ideas is up to him. However, how his son treats you is your business and you dont have to put up with the selfishness of a spoiled child. Should the boy do anything that offends you or disobey you, remember youare the adult and he will eventuall need to learn respect. dont be afraid to tell him no just because your boyfriend might not like it. you deseerve respect and he will need to give it to you and other adults alike if he wants to make it in life. your boyfriend is only hurting his son by letting him think that he can get around the word no.

Ana Crusis says:
October 4, 2010 at 2:37 pm
It sounds to me like the sons mother is a problem as well. She should also have a part in disciplining this child. Your husband should understand that when you get married you will be his sons stepmom, and should have a say in things.

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